Last night I had a bizarre dream. I was being put through a ritual by a group of Native American Elders to heighten my spirituality and to be anointed as a spiritual warrior. In the ceremony as they were chanting, they painted various parts of my body with mud and white paint. There was a fire burning, and when they were done, they placed a crown of sorts on my head. It was really quite moving.
As the ceremony was ending, I happened to notice my ex husband, Michael, was seated off in the distance all alone as the sole witness to this moving event. The weird thing was there was just this sort of “black hole” energy around him. I walked towards him to ask him why he was there, and as I did he ran away as fast as he could without saying a word. I asked a friend of mine who just happen to appear at that moment as they do in dreams, to see if she could catch him and find out why he was here.
The part that was troubling to me in my dream was how dark the energy was around him, how fast he beat it out of there as I approached him and why on earth was I still feeling hurt by him. I woke up in that moment it was all coming to a head. For a long while afterwards I felt really “off” and upset by his actions and tried to understand what the dream meant. It was about 2 AM, so I got up and did some work I bought home from the office to try to change my energy so I could get back to sleep.
I was able to distract my mind so that about an hour later I was able to fall back to sleep. The dream haunted me and my thoughts throughout the day. I mentioned the dream to a friend. She thought it was Spirit’s way of telling me I have moved on, and to see him for what he really was, what he really is, but that some little part of me must still be feeling connected to him, and that it was time to cut that cord, as life had other plans for me now.
After much thought, I see the “black hole” energy as representing his lack of love or any emotional connection to me that never existed during our seven year marriage, and that in his running away, he was never really there for me on any level. The part of the dream that brings me peace is connecting to the ritual of becoming a Spiritual Warrior. It was a beautiful ceremony and I am honored to have been chosen to lead the way for others to heal.
I would love to hear what your thoughts are on the dream. It helps to have different perspectives. Please share your thoughts with me.