Helping you find the Love in Your Life!
Robin WillowMoon, CSC, CLC
Love in Action
Ways to start to fall in love the spectacular you!
Be kind to yourself right now, and understand the magnitude of what you are grieving; not only the loss of the relationship, but knowing it was all built on lies.
Take a nap. Make it a priority every now and again. More again! It's a wonderful way to show yourself some love. After all, who ever says, I have had enough sleep! Make it special by sprinkling some lavender oil on your pillow case, and just close your eyes and rest.
Get out in nature. Spend time in the forest, on the beach, anywhere you can feel the fresh air on your face, and feel the healing power of nature.
Learn something new. A new language, new skill - I am sure you have something on your bucket list you want to learn, now is the time.
Buy yourself a beautiful bouquet of flowers - just because. Nothing like a bunch of sunflowers or gladiolas to brighten your day.
Start to journal nightly. It is a wonderful way to get your emotions out of you and on to paper - try not to use your computer or iPad. There is healing in writing the words yourself. Be creative, add pictures, ticket stubs, stamps, anything that makes it personal to you and a happy place to come daily.
Write a love letter to yourself. Don't laugh, try it.
Take a bubble - make is spa like by adding rose petals or use some Philosophy or other luxury bath soap - play some nice music, and include some infused water and just relax.
Next time it rains, go stand out in it barefoot, as long as it's not lightening. Dance if you want, but stand and let the rain wash over you and make you whole again.
Give yourself permission to take a mental health day away from your obligations. Playing hooky and doing something nice for yourself on a free day is a wonderful way to love yourself.
Get up and just burn some energy by dancing or bouncing on an exercise ball. Fire up the music and just have a go at it till you are laughing and out of breath.
Do a closet purge. You will make room for the new you, and be able to donate your clothes to others who need them.
Seek out the company of your close girlfriends. They will be a huge part of your support system. Don't be afraid to let them help you. You are most vulnerable right now, and they can be your strength for you.
Loose yourself in a good book. Something that will take you far away from thinking of the breakup and spur your imagination.
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Make a daily practice of doing mirror work with yourself. Here is a link to learn all about it. it. https://www.louisehay.com/what-is-mirror-work/
Try a pilates class. You can try out something new, meet new people and maybe fall in love with a different way to exercise.
When you are feeling low, it can really raise your spirits if you help someone. Volunteer, help a friend, do something to give to others. The rewards are endless.
Make plans and go on a weekend get-away with some friends. You don't have to go far to have fun, and the cost split between a few people keeps it affordable. What it will do for your heart.....Priceless.
Start creating new traditions just for you. If you always went to the movies on Friday nights with him, start doing something fun for you on Friday nights. Change the narrative of your life by changing what you do.
Once a week take a moment to do something nice for yourself. Treat yourself to a night out with a friend, or just stop for an ice cream cone. Just commit to yourself, one act of random kindness for you, from you.
You must understand what happened to you to be able to heal. Read books, research on line, join support groups anything you can do to help you understand what has been done to you. The narcissist can cause so much damage to not only your mental health, but to your physical health. Knowledge is power.
Take time to create something - art, bake bread, paint a wall with chalk board paint and leave yourself messages - get on Pinterest and get some ideas and then go create!
Seek out therapy. Whether it's traditional therapy, hypnotherapy, Emotion Code, EFT, massage, acupuncture, or any combination of therapies, do not stop until you find something that works for you.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to put yourself into no contact mode with your narcissist. It will drive them crazy when they can no longer control you with their lies.
Chocolate is believed to contain high levels of antioxidants. Some studies have suggested chocolate could lower cholesterol levels and prevent memory decline. And it just tastes really good!
Set aside some space for you to heal. Create a special room or nook that is all yours and allows you to relax and heal.
If you can, get a kitten. They will distract you and fill your life with love and laughter.
Take advantage of the reduced appetite to loose weight if you need to. It's the silver lining in the dark clouds right now.
Laugh - Find any reason to laugh. Go to a live comedy show, watch a comedian on NetFlix or Cable, read a funny book, or watch a funny movie. Just find something that makes you laugh. When we laugh, for those moments, we are not thinking of our troubles or worries - we are truly in the moment. Very Healing.
Remember when someone criticizes you it says more about them than you- so be kind to yourself and consider the source.
If you are like me and cannot quiet the mind enough to meditate, start listening to the many HZ Healing Frequency Music Meditations on YouTube. Let them play as you do your daily chores, or at your office.
Create a playlist of happy songs for you to listen to when you are feeling really down. Any song that brings you back to a happy memory (that doesn't include him/her). Music can be very healing.
Be sure to seek out spiritual help in any form that speaks to your soul or your family traditions. There are many paths to Spirit. Find one that resonates with your soul and follow it.
Practice mindfulness moments often throughout your day. Take time to be 100% present in the moment and see how your life changes.
Maybe it's time to get a rescue dog from your local humane society. It's the best kind of unconditional love you can find. Just remember it's a lifetime commitment, just like the one you are looking for.
Create a vision board for yourself on how you want your life to look. Is it all about self improvement, travel, moving, anything you are working on, have a vision of where you want to go.
Be realistic with your progress. Even if it seems like you have only made a small amount of progress, take the win. If you spent one less minute crying today then you did yesterday, that is a small victory. Claim it!
YouTube TED talks. There are hundreds of them out there. They will inspire you in so many ways.
Be sure to see your healthcare provider. They can give you some medications to help during the initial transition through the loss of the relationship.
A massage is a wonderful way to honor your body. It can help release toxins, and relax you. A must do for anyone going through emotional trauma, and a lovely way to love yourself.
Treat yourself to a mani or pedi or both - you will feel better and maybe you can buy a kicky pair of sandals to show off your new toes!
Talk a walk, or have a seat with your feet on the ground - dirt if possible - we ground our homes through the earth, why not our bodies. Aim for 15 minutes most days
Block his number from your phone. This is the most kind thing you can do to protect yourself from him hoovering you. It's a vital part of your healing.
Try adding yoga to your daily routine. Take a class or go online to learn the different poses you can do. Great for stretching your body and mind.
Invest in yourself. Get a counselor, a coach, go back to school - Spend what you are worth - Me, I'm priceless!