If you follow my blog, you know I often write notes to myself on my bathroom mirror. Today, I took down, “RIP Mike 04/02/19” and replaced it with “Look at what he lost!” And I really mean it. Look at what he lost! I hadn't even thought about changing my moniker for the last two months, but it just hit me.....Look at what he lost!
I can’t tell you how freeing that thought is. I am worthy of love, I have value, I am uniquely me – no else can ever be me. No one else can ever be you. You are worthy of love, you have value. Keep digging till you find it because you are worth the dig!
This has not been an easy journey, nor has it ended. It’s been painful, messy and downright ugly at times. But I’m still standing; I’m still here, only now I see my worth. Does this mean everyday will be a good day ….no, there will still be the messiness of life to deal with, only now, I will know my foundation is built on the fact that I matter, I have value, and I am love and loved.
Someone asked me yesterday if I was still in pain over the divorce/discard from the ex-husband. I told her yes, there are still some tender spots, and they may be there for awhile. After all it was a 7 year relationship/marriage, and I truly loved him; that wound will take some time to heal. Only now I can see that I am his loss, he is not mine.
As the thoughts of him become a more distant memory, I am finding the peace in my soul growing bigger and stronger every day. If I had not been discarded, I would still be trapped in the hell that was life with him. It’s amazing what we will put ourselves through when we fall in love with poison. We don’t know it at the time, but as we gain distance and perspective, we can see it for what it was; an addiction, pure and simple. He was my drug of addiction. Not anymore. I am worthy of better than that!
Hallelujah!!!!