I read one of those ubiquitous Facebook memes yesterday that basically stated that grapes are crushed to make wine, diamonds are the result of great pressure, and olives are pressed to make oil; so when you are under great pressure, remember you are being formed into something more valuable. Transmutation – trust the process.
It really struck me looking at my life since my ex-husband walked out on us eighteen months ago. It was a period of great pressure, stress, and discomfort; you name it, I felt it. So during this process was I being made into something more valuable; yes. It did not feel at all like that during the most painful parts of being left and made to feel disposable by him, but all the while, the magic of transmutation was happening.
However, going from a piece of coal to a diamond, if the mind does not change with it, you will still see the coal that you used to be when you look in the mirror. I did, and still do struggle with trying to accept the fact that I am no longer a piece of coal, I am a diamond.
So what is diamond thinking and living? It’s not living a life of perfection; even a flawed diamond is still a diamond, and can sometimes be more valuable than a regular diamond because of the flaw. To begin to thrive as a diamond I am asking myself some hard questions. What does being a diamond mean to me? How do I see a diamond living? Who and how must I be to begin to have dreams again? Who and how must I be to live the life I want?
I read somewhere that hell on earth is meeting the man or woman you could have been, were meant to be, but never achieved. So here I am at age 58, a diamond in the rough. I imagine I will have to go through some buffing, polishing, and maybe even some cutting to reach where I want to be, but now I will remind myself that it’s all about becoming a better version of me, to trust in the process.
I am going to put in some serious reflection time this weekend, maybe even start a new vision board to start to dream again. Where do I want to go in my life now? What do I want it to look like and how do I want to feel now that I am a diamond? I am limited only by my own imagination. So why does that thought scare the hell out of me? Trust the process Willow, trust the process.