Single for the holidays? It does not have to mean no fun for you. Whether it’s your first holiday post break up or your 20th, don’t let the loss of your partner leave you not feeling in the holiday spirit. Will it be different from when you were together….yes, but that doesn’t mean you still can't have fun.
This is my first holiday season that I will experience fully without the XNarc in my life. He came back to get the rest of his things just in time to get his Christmas gifts from me last year. See, I was still trying to buy him back. While I do miss him still on some insane level beyond my comprehension, I am going to start making some new holiday traditions this year.
Luckily, Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner has always been and will continue to be spent with my close friends for the past seven years. They are what has kept me pasted together over this most difficult year. Christmas eve was always spent with the XNarc. We would have a special dinner for just the two of us, then we would sit and admire the Christmas tree and just spend some together time. It must have killed him to do that with me for the seven years we had together.
Rather than get all sad about it, I am going to have a small dinner for some friends who have also gone through a separation or divorce this year. We won’t be alone; we will have each other to share the joys and sorrows of being single. It is my hope this will become my new tradition for Christmas Eve. I have ordered a "Turducken" for dinner, something I always wanted to try but the XNarc didn't. They will bring the sides and there will be lots and lots of wine. Afterwards, anyone who wants to stay over, or who had to much wine, can sack out for the evening. In the morning it will be danish and coffee and hugs, and then on with our day.
If hosting a dinner isn’t’ your thing, then take that same group and go to dinner together, or find something to do together that night. As for all the other days of the holidays, try volunteering at a homeless shelter, or visiting people in the hospital that have no family. Imagine the joy you will bring them since they are all alone and in the hospital. There is always something you can do to feel better. Now is not the time to wallow in the loss, but to reach out, start new traditions and find a way to enjoy your newly single holidays.
Who knows, you might actually enjoy them more without the negativity of the XNarc in your life. Truth be told, they probably took from your holiday spirit rather than added to it. So now you can make it what you want it to be. And when that ball drops on New Years Eve, throw a party, get out with your friends, book a weekend getaway and toast to your new lives. Make it something fun so that you set yourself up for a great new year full of love and adventure.
It’s not always easy, but do it anyway because you are worth it!