He Has Gone No-Contact With Me
Updated: Dec 24, 2019
Well here is a turnabout. My ex narc has gone no contact with me. The last text we had about a month ago was simply this – I am down to our Lake Michigan vacation weight – and never felt better! (See picture below that I sent along with my message.) And that was it. Crickets………
I find it deeply hysterical at this point that he has chosen to go no contact with me. That is just rich – he appears to be upset with me, for what God only knows why. So I did some research on the matter – “What is going on when a Narc goes no contact with you” – and found out some interesting facts.
We tend to think when they are no contact with us that they are out having fun, or with someone new, or have generally just forgotten about us. As it turns out, the truth of the matter is very different. Typically, when they go no contact with us, especially when we are doing better without them, they are miffed because of just that; we are doing better without them. That drives them bat shit crazy. Let’s face it, if someone who treated us as good as we treated them, when that attention and affection finally is gone, one would tend to sad about that. Since they have a feeling of "entitlement" they get angry about that.
They also don’t like it when you have “figured” them out. They operate under a cloak of darkness, and once the light is turned on and you see them for what they are, they get angry that you blew up their facade. They have now been exposed.
They get angry because “How dare we pull away from them.” “How dare we go on without them.” And “How dare we stop giving them that good fuel to use.” As the days grow shorter that I spend any time thinking about him, and the pain has mostly subsided, keeping in mind that there is a ying and yang to things, it would make perfect sense that as I become peaceful and happy again, that he would find himself in a place of unrest and unhappy. I guess it’s just his turn.
With Christmas on our heels, the gift I am giving myself this year is allowing myself to enjoy my new life “Post Mike” and to enjoy the fact that he no longer rents so much space in my head. He has been relegated to the “storage” closet in my mind; the place where all memories go, good or bad to dwell until my mind no longer remembers.