Hard Stop Block
I should have blocked his number. I knew better, but I didn’t act on it. Last night out of the blue I get this exact text message from him. “The male female thing is just a big cosmic joke, or a tragedy, or both.” Without a thought for my own self, so not a kind loving move on my part, I shot back, “what’s going on, do you need to talk?” Then, nothing……crickets……..for about three hours. Ladies, and gentlemen, I have just been hoovered.
Not knowing he got me again, my mind started racing, thinking maybe he and old Norma Jean got into a fight and she threw him out. (I had had a dream the night before that she had punched him in the face.) When I finally did hear back from him three hours later, he told me he was at a concert with his old lady, and that his text was just an observation. WTF????? It was a deliberate manipulation on his part to tap into my empathy and feed. That’s all, nothing more; a feeding. Things between him and Norma Jean must have slowed down a bit, so he needs more fuel, and he knows my empathetic nature is like a pipeline of good fuel.
He went on to say that he would prefer to live alone, but cannot afford to, so he was making the best of the situation. MAKE THE BEST OF THE SITUATION???? Poor old Norma Jean has no idea what he is doing to her - what he did to me for seven long years. The insults said as jokes, the silent treatments, the using of all of her energy, resources, and time she will never get back …….While I do feel sorry for her, I cannot stop her from learning the same painful lesson I did. She will have to figure that out for herself.
After this painful encounter I was left in tears as he was enjoying the concert with Norma Jean. In my mind I sorted out all the manipulative hateful things he did by texting me - here is the list I came up with:
· He was disrespectful to Norma Jean – texting me while out with her
· He basically said he was using her for a place to stay
· Which implies he does not love her, he is just playing with her emotions for his own gain
· He hoovered me
· He is showing me his true colors for who and what he is - so why do I think he has changed?
· He upset me, bought me to tears and did not even care
So today I must perform the painful act of blocking him from my phone. I say painful, because a part of my heart still thinks this is all a bad dream, and he is not the monster he is, and will wake up and decide he does love me and come back. However the reality is that it is far more painful to swim with a shark and get eaten and that is what he is and what he did when he texted me. Last night I dreamed he came to visit me and I was left crying. Maybe today she will punch him in the face as I dreamed that the night before last, and instead I got punched in the face by him.