I had another one of those awful dreams last night where the ex played a leading role. I hate when he creeps into my dreams. He is always so hurtful to me when he appears. Last night was no exception. He was angry at me for not supporting him in his new life, and for not acknowledging any of the kind gestures he made after he left me. WTF? There were no kind gestures. In the dream he laid them out for me one by one - where he was being nice to me, and I didn’t acknowledge it. Boo Hoo!
It must be some type of backwards world in dreams, because he was never kind and never acknowledge his unkind treatment towards me. But it was only a dream. Normally this would put me in a funk all day, but by the time I had my first cup of coffee, I was no longer being controlled by thoughts of him or the dream. Yeah!
He taught me the best lesson of all over the last eighteen months. He taught me how to go on without him, and I am happy to say, I have learned just how to do that. I actually make it through a greater portion of my day without a thought of him. Woo Hoo! It helps that I can see him clearly now for what he is not the fantasy version I had of him in my head.
So as this Saturday lays before me, instead of dreading the time like I used to, I am looking forward to a fun day. My roommates and I are going to check out a local CBD shop. I can’t wait to learn all about it and its wonderful uses. I have tried some of the CBD gummies, and I have to say, I love them. I think it’s important to get out there and try new things, and to start creating new adventures for yourself. That is the only way we move past what has happened to us. We need to start creating a new life with new memories.
That is all I have left of him now, is memories. Sadly there are not many good ones to think about, but then I don’t want to get stuck there anymore anyway. So maybe that is a good thing. Instead I can think about how I started my day this morning with a cup of coffee, and twenty minutes of watching a Batman rerun from the 60’s. What a riot – my roommates and I just laughed and enjoyed waking up to the day. Now that is a good memory!