I have pretty much shed all of the tears I had in me for my failed marriage. He was what he was, and I can’t fix that. So now it is time for me to start moving forward.
As I get further down the healing road, I realize I have a “do over” in my life. I get to design my life the way I want to now. I am no longer restricted by my role as a wife. I can make my life what I want it to be. So where do you start when you have been on one path for so long, and suddenly find yourself on a new one?
I absolutely know what I don’t want in my life; no more drama, trauma, or stress. I have had a lifetime of that. So what do I really want my life to look like now? This is where a vision board can come in handy. You can make it as elaborate as you want, or just a simple piece of cardboard. Start by looking at pictures in magazines or on Pinterest, or anywhere you get inspiration from. What do I want my home to look like? How do I want to wear my hair now that he is not telling me how he wants it to look. How do I want to dress? What does my life feel like? Get down to very specific details; as if you were hiring a set designer to stage your life. What color paint is on your walls, what types on linens on your bed?
Don’t get so wrapped up in choosing that you overwhelm yourself with decisions. Just start by looking at what “feels” right to you and your energy. Then when you are shopping, or getting a haircut, or painting your walls, make every decision to support your vision. Let’s say I decide I want to be more bohemian in my style of dressing…..so me. When I go on my next shopping trip and I see a charming little black dress, am I going to buy it? No, because it does not support the vision I have with how I will now dress. It gets me closer to my vision not to clutter up my life and home with things that don’t reflect the choices I made about my life.
Believe it or not, we make a bunch of tiny decisions that guide our lives and fill our homes with “stuff” - really without any thought of what we really want. As you make each decision to support the life you want, guess what……..in a few months you can already start to see your life changing.
I have done this before in the past and created a new life, so I know it works. I will do this again, only now, I will ask myself if I am valuing myself with this choice? Does this decision reflect someone who loves themselves and is honoring who and what they want to be? With that simple question and honest answer, I am sure my life will start heading where I want it to. It’s a fun process if you look at it right. What does your life look and feel like?
