Choosing not to Suffer
They say you have to wake up every morning and choose if you want to be happy. As it turns out, you have to wake up and also choose whether you want to suffer or be at peace every day as well.
I am not an easy riser from wake to sleep to begin with, and the “spring forward” time change does nothing to help this situation; so waking up has been tough enough this past week, as has been to choose not to suffer. I know it seems weird to say, but my first thoughts have been with his Norma Jean since he is leaving her this week. Then I think of him, and before I know it, I am in full blown suffer mode.
My morning shower seems to help shake most of it off, negative ions and all. After showering I put on some happy music as I prepare for the day, and then bam. A song will come on that reminds me of him, or on my drive to the office I see a Toyota that looks like his did, and without notice, my mind trails off and the suffering begins. Even though I want peace, and I choose peace, suffering seems to not want to let go.
No one in their right mind would wake up and start the day saying to themselves, “I don’t want to be happy today – bring on the suffering!” But suffering is sneaky. It lets you think you are in control; but just like carbon monoxide that is odorless, colorless, can permeate your home and take you down without a detector sounding a warning to get out or open the window, suffering can take you down in just the same way.
So how do we sound the alarm, how do we know when to get out or open the window to save ourselves from suffering? We have to be 100% present in our minds and choose to be at peace and be happy every minute of every day until it becomes a habit. Sadly suffering has become a habit for a lot of us; a place we visit frequently and sometimes set up a homestead. So until it becomes a habit for me to live in a land of peace, a land of happy – I will have to sound that alarm every minute of every day until peace becomes my habit, or at the very least until I lose my hearing from the constant sound of the alarm!
Right now in this moment I choose peace. It may just be for the moment, but hey, it’s a start…..queue happy music and go!