I posted a Facebook meme yesterday about setting boundaries. It got me thinking today about " if or how" I have changed my boundaries with the outside world. After much thought, I believe I have.
I will no longer allow anyone who lies to me in my life, including my own heart. The ex lied to me about so much; I have been lying to myself by holding on to a vision of him, not the reality of him. Well no more – we only deal in truths in my circle, and the truth about him is he is not a nice person.
The ex was thoughtless and unkind in words and actions. I can no longer tolerate that from anyone in my life. Kindness - if you don’t have any, well then step off. My new boundaries do not include people who live their life to hurt others.
Anyone who thinks just because I am generous person that I will fund their life and lifestyle while receiving nothing in return; well I bought that T-Shirt and use it to clean my toilet, so I don't need another one. To those people I say, go get a job. You are entitled to nothing from me or the world – go earn it like the rest of us.
To those who are bullies and name callers, your bad behavior will no longer be tolerated. Even if you are a wounded child in a grown up body, go get help and stop hurting the world with your shit. Not many of us grew up in a perfect household. Just because you did not, does not give you license to shit on everyone around you .
So I guess I have set new boundaries. Without them I would just draw in another horrible person like the ex. Please understand these boundaries are not from a place of anger or judgment, but from a place of deep love and respect for myself. I deserve better than what I have allowed into my heart. I get to choose who or what type of people who can be in my life.
Truth be told, I think the place I need to work on next is trust. I am not even sad or mad about it. I just don’t have any trust in a man at this point. They have let me down, used me, abused me, and abandoned me, well in truth, I allowed them to because I didn't love myself.
But no more. I love myself enough to want more for my life than to be trauma bonded to another jerk.
I read something where it was being asked if you went out to the car when your boyfriend was picking you up, and there was another woman in the car with him – what would you do? Some of the respondents said they would yell at the girl, or pull the girl out of the car. I knew I had grown when my first thought was I would have never seen her, because at this point, I expect him to come to the door to get me. If when we did walk out to the car together, saw her and there was not a really good reason, like it’s his sister, I would nicely tell them to have a good time and that it was really nice to meet her. To myself I would be saying, and you can keep him.
I have come to a point in my life where I no longer need a man to be whole and complete. I am whole and complete within me. My boundaries are the proof! With those in place, I believe I can fill my life with kindness, light and love. To that I say – YES!