Sometimes you just have to treat yourself to a decadent dinner; so tonight I made Banana Chocolate Chip Pancakes and reflected on this past week as I ate. It’s been a crazy good one! The skills I picked up from listening to Jay Shetty the other day have helped so much. Anytime intrusive thoughts of him popped into my head, and I started beating myself up over the whole ordeal, I would just tell myself, “No – we don’t allow anyone to beat us anymore. Not even you” and the thoughts would go away.
I also hit a milestone this past week. I came to the realization on a deep soul level, that he never deserved me. I was too good for him. I always felt so bad about myself, so damaged, that I felt I was lucky if anyone loved me. I think the ice around my own heart is melting and I am starting to see that I have value, and that a man would be lucky to have me in his life. I am not bragging or saying I am perfect, but flaws and all, I am amazing. I have never been able to say that about myself, ever, but now I am starting to sit with that thought and to own that thought.
The other great news is I got a new “pre-owned” car this past week. I bought it from a dear friend of mine who made me a really sweet deal . After I sold my old car, it took very little money out of my own pocket to pay for it.
The reason I bring this up is, that as time is passing I am coming to realize how much sweeter, nicer, and luckier I have become since he left. Don’t get me wrong, there is still a small hole left in my heart where my love for him once lived, but on a whole, my life has gotten so much better, and for that I am grateful.
My quest to fall in love with myself is starting to take root and I am starting to see progress, hell, I am feeling the progress. I have to credit it all to lots of good help from some different therapies, HZ music, and subliminal message CD’s on self love and healing, and my wonderful gaggle of gal pals whom I just adore.
I hope as I have been journeying down this path you have been as well. My hope is to use this page to help others heal and find the love of their life – the one that needs to live inside us all – self love.
