As I arise on this cold Sunday morning all of my roommates are sleeping soundly, the cats are 0n their perches searching the horizon for birds, and for a bit, I have the house to myself. Doing a “check in” with my emotions and body, I feel peace.
It is amazing in the space of a year how much I have changed. Last year about this time he packed and left with his two week notice. Five months ago he blew my world apart with the news of his relationship, and here I am finally in a place of peace.
I remember years ago when my beautiful golden retriever Bailey died. I sought out the help of a grief counselor because I wasn’t handling her passing very well. I seem to have a very hard time of letting go of people and pets in my life. I asked him what he would tell a mother who just lost their daughter, as she was like a daughter to me. He replied with a simple “Death takes time.” I remember this like it was yesterday because I lost my mind and yelled back, that is all you have……death takes time……I am paying you $100 an hour and that is all you have to tell me????
Well he was right. There is no magic pill you can take . There is no easy way through the pain. The death of anything, a person, pet, relationship, marriage, friendship, it all just takes time. So one year later here I am, I actually look forward to the weekends, drive home with a smile on my face, and look forward to doing things with my friends; it’s a whole new place for me. I am having a blast redecorating my home, and love that it is filled with two other people (my roommates) whom I love dearly and who love me in return. We have become our own tribe.
Does my life now reflect someone who loves themselves….yes. I have more work to do, but I am on the way. I can’t even imagine what this next year will bring and how much further down this path I will be. I am heading off to work on my vision board in the quietness of my home so that I know where to aim as the new year unfolds.