Since I have been single for 18 months now, some of my well meaning friends are asking me when I plan to start dating again. I keep telling them I am nowhere near ready to date or be in a relationship; partly or mostly because I don’t want to date until I love me to the moon and back, so that a guy will know he will have to love me to the moon and back too. The other part………well let me share a story or two from when I started dating after the ending of my second marriage.
I joined a few dating sights, Plenty of Fish (Don’t even think to go there), Match.Com, and lastly eHarmony (that was the best one.) Did I meet the man of my dreams from any of these sites…..no. Not even no, but hell no. Here is who I met. I given them all nicknames to help me remember what was so special about each one of them.
First up was the “Dumb-Ass.” I met him on Plenty of Fish – it’s a free sight, and you get what you pay for. He took me to a concert and proceeded to tell me that if he and I were up for the same job, he would get it because I was stupid. That was the one and only date with “Dumb-Ass” guy and the last time I used Plenty of Fish.
So I decided to try Match.com. That is where I met “Creepy Doug.” Creepy lived about an hour from where I lived. He wanted to take me to this really cool place up where he lived for our date. (There were some really cool eateries and clubs I always wanted to go to.) It was decided that since we would be drinking, I could spend the night at his condo, separate rooms of course. So I did and the next day when I woke up, he was taking things out of his closet and clearing room. I asked him why, and his response was so that you have a place to put your things when you move in. Whoa there Creepy, that is just moving way too fast for me, and truth be told he acted far older than his 55 years. I think he thought he as 85 not 55. So that was my one and only date with him.
My next prince charming from Match was “Skid-Marks.” I met him at a downtown eatery near my home. After the initial hello’s he started trying to get a little to “fresh” with me – grabby hands and such. I told him if he was just looking for a good time, I was not his “Match” because I was looking for a relationship. He took a sip of his wine and popped a piece of sashimi in his mouth and said, OMG, I forgot I have a meeting in Orlando at 7 PM I have to get to. Since it was nearly 6:30 I told him he had better get on the road because he was going to be late. He paid the bill and bolted out the door. It took me about three minutes or so to realize I had just been dumped in the restaurant. Yes, old Skid-Marks beat it out of there in an instant when he learned there would be no “putting out” by me anytime soon. Hey at least he paid the check. By the time I finished my wine and the sashimi (there was not point letting good sashimi go to waste) I went home and tried to pull up his profile, but he had already deleted me. I swear I am not making this up. LOL See my hesitation to date again.
I have more to share with you as we have just started on this odyssey thing they call dating. …..stay tuned for Cry Baby Don and Naked Hobbit Guy.
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