The Black Cloud Arrived in Town Today

I can’t say that I am at ease tonight knowing the ex is in town for the weekend. His daughter is visiting with him tonight. Meanwhile my stomach is tied in knots. I don’t think he will try to come by my house, but with someone so clueless and insensitive – you never know what they may choose to do.

It seems to be so much easier to deal with the fallout of his time in my life knowing he is far away and not anywhere near where we could accidentally run in to each other. I have asked my friends to send positive vibes to make sure that does not happen and to help keep me grounded and calm.

I have been secretly hoping he would never come up here, or get sick or something and not be able to travel. I don’t allow myself to keep those thoughts for too long, karma and all; but I can’t say I don’t have them.

So how do I handle this so it does not wreck my weekend? First I will medicate – better living through chemistry I always say. Second, I am in the middle of binge watching Downton Abbey – so I will happily immerse myself in all things UK. And lastly it’s time for a quarterly closet purge, so I will be discovering things I don’t remember buying and making room for new things to come. I am also in the planning stages of redecorating my boudoir. I am thinking of some calming grays and natural wood elements to make for good sleep. Before you know it, he will be leaving and hopefully not coming back anytime soon.

I guess I can’t complain, this is his first trip up here since he left for good last Christmas. I know from talking with other women in the same situation that they have to deal with their ex living in the same town as they do. That adds a whole layer of extra emotion and dread they have to deal with. It hurts my heart to think of what they endure.

So please keep me in your thoughts and prayers, to keep him away from me, and to make me blissfully unaware of his presence in town. I know I can handle this. I pray I can handle this and I know I will be stronger for it when he is gone.