Updated: Feb 25, 2019
After my epic fail yesterday by violating the no contact rule, and putting my recovery from the narc into a bit of a tailspin, I decided to call in the Calvary today, my friend Julie. Luckily she and I are both are suffering from summer colds, so we sat on the sofa, coughed, sneezed, shared cold tablets and aspirin, and talked through my emotions. We cleared the decks of obligations so we could just sit back, relax, and take stock of the situation.
Never underestimate the power of good friends. As women, we get to bond in ways men just can’t. As noted in an article by Psychology Today, “The most common finding is that men’s friendships tend to be more “instrumental” and less emotional, while women friends are much more likely than men to share emotions and feelings. Men’s friendships are often based on shared activities (e.g., poker or golfing buddies), and are more “transactional” – reciprocating favors and working together on projects. In other words, men share activities, women share feelings.”
I can say without a doubt, that while I have had three husbands in my life, my circle of close girlfriends has pretty much stayed the same. These women have put years in trenches with me, and know the deep dark places in my heart that I like to keep hidden from the world. Amazingly they choose to still love me anyway. Family has to love you, most times, but with a friend it’s a choice, and that is a true gift.
As we drank our coffee, and talked about my transgression, she helped me to see that no permanent damage was done to anyone, and that I could simply start the no contact counter again. She re-assured me that I am still standing after what happened, and that I would continue to heal and find my strength to build back the pieces of my heart even stronger. And in the end, who cares what the ex-narc thinks about me or the email I sent.
Later, as we binged watched some British crime dramas on Netflix, watched a couple of YouTube video’s on how to speak like a Brit, in homage to the crime dramas, shared some laughs and lunch, I noticed a feeling of peace and contentment return to my soul that I haven’t felt in awhile. Netflix Subscription $12, Lunch $20, time spent with friends…..Priceless. Thank you Julie!