Early last week I got a disturbing phone call from my boss. Seems another department head was hell bent on impugning my skill set - and my boss making a decision in haste believed this person. At first I was angry and spent two days in a professional tug of war defending my honor. I had been pulled of a big project, and my ego was bruised.
Flash forward two days of asking Spirit for guidance, and here is what Spirit reminded me of. "Only my opinion matters - what someone thinks of you doesn't, especially if you don't respect their morals and judgement anyway." I gave that a lot of thought, and realized that their criticism of my work comes from a place of self doubt and insecurity in them and bares no reflection on me.
However, this was a great opportunity to do some shadow work in myself. My anger at them for misjudging me was the perfect time to look at what that represented to me. In my need to be "good" or "better" than others to get people to like me, I lost sight of the fact that I no longer have to prove my worth to anyone. I am worthy just as I am.
So in the end I chose to look at it this way. I get paid the same amount to do half the work I had been given. This now free's up my time to do more of the things that I like to do. I have been working seven days a week - about 60 hours a week- for the past two years. I gave myself permission to take my laptop back to the office and not work nights and weekends from home anymore.
I feel free now. Free to spend time taking care of me. Time for morning yoga to help these old bones stretch, time for a craft project I have been putting off for years, more time for writing, more time to spend with a good book, and more time to lead my Zoom classes on self love.
So in the end, this experience that bruised my ego at first, has freed my soul. Through Spirits love and guidance and a little soul searching to do the shadow work I am no longer a slave to my job. In fact I took a mental health day today to stay home and do some things for me. I love that!