Mood Swings and Other Things
As we blaze this trail to heal our hearts, the constant mood swings can become a bit overwhelming. Some days I swear I have become bi-polar. I started to keep a “mood swing” diary eight weeks ago so I can see if there is any pattern to it. The other thing this allows me to do is to keep the focus on me, my healing, not the ex. It’s a subtle mind shift, but with big results.
I have begun to see a couple of patterns emerge; and can already see them shifting some. It used to be the weekends were just dreadful. I didn’t want to get out of bed, and would actually start to panic on Friday nights about what I was going to do to deal with my emotions when I couldn’t distract myself with work. How sad is that. I noticed Labor Day weekend there was a shift in the weekend dread energy, and I actually started to plan and look forward to that weekend. No Friday night panic attack over 72 hours of unstructured time. Since that weekend, I actually drive home on Friday nights looking forward to two days to relax and spend some quality “me” time.
I probably wouldn’t have even noticed this without the “mood swing” diary. I can see that evenings are another time I tend to get sad as I ruminate over the loss of what could have been if he hadn’t been so mentally damaged. I will wind myself up into a big knot thinking why didn’t he want to heal his wounds that made him this way…wasn’t I worth it??? I know that’s not the reality of it, he has to think he is worth it, but in those sad moments, I turn it in on myself.
To help distract myself, I spend time reading books to help heal my heart and navigate my emotional damage. I write letters I don't intend to send to him to get out my emotions, and then sometimes I just allow myself to cry it out. The hypnotherapist gave me a “keyword” to say as I press my index finger and thumb together that will helps as well.
I think it’s important to have an “emotional tool box” filled with things to help us through these tender times. So the first thing in your tool box should be a “mood swing” diary. You might be surprised at how much better you will feel as you start to turn your attention and energy on you, and away from them.