In my last post I talked about the concept of "Mature Love," but could not come up with a way to explain what I meant by that. We all know what "Immature Love" or "Young Love" is. We have all been there at one point in our lives; that place where you would do anything, be anything, say anything for the person you were in love with.
Mature love goes much deeper. Mature love, for me, is the absence of anger, and resentment in the relationship. The relationship could be with a partner, friend, family member, really any relationship. When you no longer can be move to anger or resentment by that person, you have found a love that is "mature" and endless. They cannot do anything that would shake your love for them. I'm not talking about being a door mat for them, but rather understanding the differences that live between you and them, and accepting them as they are. I tell a lot of my friends, at our age we are all weird, and all we need to do is embrace the weirdness.
My friends are as diverse as they can be; an artist, a scientist, a homemaker, a single career gal, a scholar, and yet, I love them all even though I may not understand the way their minds work. We all bring something different to the table, and I like excited by that.
I remember a wise woman telling me once a long time ago that people are not right or wrong, they are just different from each other. My lament at the time was a friend who was always late and I was upset because I am someone who is on time. I said my friend was being rude. That is when she explained, that maybe in their world it was OK to be late. It's not a matter of who is right and who is wrong - they are just different from you. If you want to hang out with that person, you just have to embrace that "difference" in them.
Those wise words stuck with me till this day. My ex was always late to everything, but since I was in "immature Love" with him, I let it upset me. As I grew to accept our differences, I would tell him what time I was leaving to go somewhere, and at that time I would leave whether he was in the car or not. I can't say I was happy about it, but our marriage was not a good one, and was on my side, built on "Immature Love."
Who I am now would never even enter into a relationship with someone like that. I love myself to much now!