Love in the Time of Covid
As we go through this unprecedented challenge for most of us alive today, one would think being home all day to tackle the projects we have been putting off - because we were too busy living would be a good thing. Well for some of us, one would be wrong. Being stuck at home with my thoughts can sometimes be a luxury I cannot afford.
With all of this extra time to be alone, depression can easily set in. To be proactive, I scheduled a “TeleMed” session with a PTSD counselor. No time like the present to muck around with the hopefully last remaining bits of my brokenness. As I discussed in a previous post, my childhood was spent being verbally, mentally and physically abused by my mother. In my wildest dreams, it didn’t even occur to me that I could have PTSD. But I do. Understanding this has been key in helping me to understand and forgive myself for some of the choices I have made in the past.
Our session via “TeleMed” was very helpful. I did miss the physical connection, the hug afterwards, but I really found the session to be very engaging. We looked at some of my triggers – music, places, activities, and worked on things to do when I am triggered.
The easiest thing would be for me to stay away from the things that trigger me, but how does one stay away from music. I like to listen to the radio while I am at work. I can’t know in advance when a song will come on that sets me off down memory lane with the ex. I can’t help as I channel surf and see anything relating to tennis come by; as that was something the ex and I enjoyed watching together. I can’t stop passing by a Toyota that reminds me of his car. Those triggers are all around me, and can happen at anytime during my waking hours. Even my dreams at night can trigger me.
So what can I do to help myself, and love myself through this difficult time? First, I reached out for help and made myself a priority. Good self love in action.
Second, when I am triggered, she suggested using a scent to draw me back to the present moment. I thought I would look for something “beachy” but in the end, I settled upon a wonderful orange water spray that takes me back to my favorite place I used to like to visit – St. Augustine Florida. This spray smells like “old Florida” to me. So that helps to pull me back from the triggered emotional thoughts.
Third, I practice alternate nostril breathing, see link below, and try to get myself outside and ground myself.
Fourth, and I really love this one…..she said to picture my emotions as a parade, just passing by. I don’t have to join in with them, just watch them pass on down the road. I began to picture my ex husband high stepping like a drum major right on past me, and just laughed at the ridiculousness of it. That really helped keep things in perspective.
And lastly she suggested doing a one minute meditation. I have been wanting to try out my new “Calm” app I downloaded to my iPhone. If that doesn’t work for me, because I do have massive monkey mind, I will set up a YouTube playlist of comedians that always make me laugh….Chris Rock comes to mind.
So now I have tools in my emotional PTSD tool box to use when I am triggered. Love in this time of Covid means making you a priority to keep your emotions in a place that help you deal with this whole new world we now live in. That my dears, is love in action!
Namaste to all.