Given the events of the past few weeks, I have to say, I am eternally grateful I am not trapped in my home with my ex-husband the narcissist. God bless the poor gal who is. OMG, I would have pulled all of my hair out and eaten all the Oreo's in the world by now.
His special talent was making life miserable when he was around; the never ending complaining, the lack of personal hygiene, and the all around discontented persona that was so special to him. Sadly this pandemic will cause a rise in domestic violence incidents; both the physical and the mental kind. I know my ex would have made me emotionally "pay" for him being inconvenienced by this.
It's in these moments when we all realize just how precious life is, when we can look at our current relationships with people and ask, when this is all over, do I want you in my life, or is life to short to have you in it. While the small broken bits of me still miss who he pretended to be in the beginning, the rest of me is so very happy in a life that does not include him.
Stay safe, stay strong, and know that we can allow this storm to clear our path of things no longer worth our time, energy or love. And that when the sun does come out again and the pandemic has passed, we can all take this time to start to build a new life with only the people we choose to have in it. Start it by falling totally in love with that beautiful unique person that is looking back at you in the mirror. There is only one brilliant amazing you, and then add from that.
I heard this very moving song the other day by Selena Gomez - "Lose You to Love Me." It is pure poetry set to music, and nailed perfectly life with a narcissist. Here are the lyrics, and the link to the song. Enjoy.
https://youtu.be/r7VTWg4d-bw
You promised the world and I fell for it I put you first and you adored it Set fires to my forest And you let it burn Sang off key in my chorus 'Cause it wasn't yours I saw the signs and I ignored it Rose colored glasses all distorted Set fire to my purpose And I let it burn You got off on the hurtin' When it wasn't yours, yeah
We'd always go into it blindly I needed to lose you to find me This dance, it was killing me softly I needed to hate you to love me, yeah
To love, love, yeah To love, love, yeah To love, yeah I needed to lose you to love me, yeah To love, love, yeah To love, love, yeah To love, yeah I needed to lose you to love me
I gave my all and they all know it Then you tore me down and now it's showing In two months, you replaced us Like it was easy Made me think I deserved it In the thick of healing, yeah
We'd always go into it blindly I needed to lose you to find me This dance, it was killing me softly I needed to hate you to love me, yeah
To love, love, yeah To love, love, yeah To love, yeah I needed to lose you to love me, yeah To love, love, yeah To love, love, yeah To love, yeah I needed to lose you to love me
You promised the world and I fell for it I put you first and you adored it Set fires to my forest And you let it burn Sang off key in my chorus
To love, love, yeah To love, love, yeah To love, yeah I needed to hate you to love me, yeah To love, love, yeah To love, love, yeah To love, yeah I needed to lose you to love me To love, love, yeah To love, love, yeah To love, yeah
And now the chapter is closed and done To love, love, yeah To love, love, yeah To love, yeah And now it's goodbye, it's goodbye for us
Not many people understand my being; what I’ve survived..But YOU do!