Lies We Tell Ourselves
After last night’s post, I got to thinking about the lies we tell ourselves. Here is a couple I will try to help you with regarding your narcissist.
Lie #1 – Your narc is happier in his new relationship then they were with you.
Truth – They are not – they weren’t happy when they met you, they weren’t happy with you, they won’t be happy now. That’s the thing; they are not happy people to begin with.
Lie #2 - When your narc is not contacting you it’s because they are getting busy with someone else.
Truth – Maybe, but more than likely they are not contacting you because their life is falling apart. Think about it, if they are with someone else, they will generally want to torture you with that fact, so they would be trying to make contact with you. Remember the old adage, “no news is good news?” Well for the discarded, the good news is when they are not reaching out to you; their lives are not going well. Karma, she really is a bitch.
Lie #3 – They have moved on and are not paying for the damage they have done to others.
Truth – Remember we all reap what we sow. They may not look like they are paying for their dirty deeds now, and maybe they are not as fast as we would like them to (it’s ok to admit we hope it all comes back to them – just don’t stay there) but they will. Sooner or later we all pay. The good news is, if your Karma comes back to bite you in the butt quickly, you are doing really well with your Karmic debt. If it’s taking a while, you have lots of it coming back to you. Trust me, they will get it. Typically they wind up alone and bitter when they are older and don’t have the “game” anymore to hook new supplies.
Lie #4 – They are treating their new supply better than they ever treated you. They are now somehow mentally all better and are great mates.
Truth – Most people don’t change unless they have a life changing event. While your
relationship with the narc changed your life in a big way, to them we were just another supply. So the end of the relationship, no matter who ended it, was really not a big deal to them emotionally. Sucks to hear, but it’s the truth.
Lie #5 – They will miss us one day, because they will remember all the great stuff we did for them and they will want to come back. They will finally figure out that they love us.
Truth – No they won’t. They are not capable of really loving anyone in a good healthy way. If they come back, it will be to suck you back into a toxic relationship again until they use you up and discard you again.
Let’s try and hold these truths in our heads instead of the lies we torture ourselves with. It’s far kinder to tell yourself the truth so you can heal and move on with your life; because after all, we are worth it.