How to Learn to Love You - Step One
If you follow my blog, you know I have spent the better part of three years taking the monumental journey to find out who I was, that I had value, and fall madly and deeply in love with myself; all culminating in my solo wedding ceremony in April of this year. So how did I get from total self hatred to falling in love with who I am, and becoming who I was meant to be.
There is no one "right way" to get from hate to love. A very wise counselor compared it to learning a language. If you want to learn to speak fluent French, you would immerse yourself in all things French. You would download French language apps, maybe take a class at the local collage, watch French movies with subtitles, maybe even take a French cooking class. At the very least you would use an English to French translator in book or app form. The point is, you would do a total immersion if you were serious about learning the language.
Falling in love with yourself is pretty much the same way. We don't know the language of self love as it was never taught to us, so it may as well be considered a foreign language. I started by watching movies with people who appeared to act like they loved themselves, and tried to mimic their behavior. I asked people I know what self love looked like to them. Surprisingly a lot of people don't really know as they never thought about it. Some said going to a spa for a treatment, or taking a vacation, which are all wonderful things to do - but what I have learned is the reason why you choose to do those things is what matters. Was it to keep up with the "Jones" or was it because you loved yourself enough to want to do something nice for yourself.
Take a look at how you treat people you love. Do you treat yourself as kind and generous?
It's so very sad that as a culture more importance is not placed on learning the one thing that is most important for a happy life - a successful life. After all, you can be successful in business, but if you are not successful in learning to love yourself, have you really won anything? Sure you may have lots of money, but are you really happy? I know plenty of people with ample sums of money that are not happy. They are just existing in a much nicer home than me.
Since I have shared my past and my story ad nauseum, I thought now was the time to share with you the tried and true steps I took to get here; to a place of loving oneself to want better for my life. If you are ready, come take the journey. I will be your Sherpa.
(PS. I also offer one on one sessions and group sessions if you want to deepen your search.)