Updated: Nov 26, 2020
So here we are with the holidays upon us. The media and our medical professionals are talking a lot about social distancing - even at family events this year. Well here is where we the discarded from the narcissists have a head start. Truth be told, we have been or were socially distancing from our narcissist for years.
I remember my first Christmas with the ex. His one daughter who acts just like him was visiting. She had been with us for about a week, so my nerves were running thin. I remember telling both of them if they could not come down for breakfast Christmas morning with a smile on their face, to just stay upstairs and let me enjoy the day alone. While they did come down, there were not many smiles, and I spent the day largely alone behind my wall of emotions to protect myself from their gloom and negativity.
I have been training for these kinds of holidays for years and never even knew how handy that skill would come to be. So what are we to do this year? We can have a virtual Thanksgiving/Christmas with our families via Zoom. Everyone can make a plate and join each other in front of the camera and still get to eat and make merry, without having to be in the same room with them.
Think of all we gain by this…..no money spent on travel expenses, no sitting in crowded airports or lines of traffic. No listening to your family bickering over the latest news, politics or religion – you simply can have a tech problem and oh no, my camera went out or my internet went down. You won’t have to listen to your family asking why you haven’t met someone new yet. You could simply say due to Covid he was unable to be here because there is no internet or hot spots where he lives. Or you can dress up a mannequin, pose him behind you facing the TV and tell them his is simply napping or not feeling well!
If you have a dog or cat, you are really never alone anyway. Your dog will be all to happy to share your turkey dinner with you. Just keep them safe and away from foods they should not eat.
Yes, things will be different this year, but remember, this is what we were training for during our relationship with them all along. So lead the charge with your friends and family. Set up the Zoom meeting for dinner/ prepare your space so you are camera ready. Oh, and here is another plus, you only have to dress from the waist up, so you can wear those yoga pants and have all the room you want for more stuffing. No fighting over the last roll, or the last piece of pie. It’s all yours!!!