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  • Robin WillowMoon

Cutting the Tie That Binds

Two years ago tomorrow night, my ex narcissist husband felt the need to tell me he had bedded down his 70 year old landlord a mere seven weeks after our seven year marriage ended. He had actually discarded me eight months before, but hovered me with promises of coming back (a classic narcissist move) - until that horrible July evening.


Flash back to July 3, 2018 roughly six pm, he called my roommate to ask him if he should tell me about the relationship he had been having, while I was sitting right next to my roommate and could hear what he was saying on the phone, another classic narcissist move – triangulation. I still remember the punch to my gut, realizing what he had done. How cruel, utterly cruel someone can be.



Now two years later, I am ready to cut the cord, to cut the soul tie. Truth be told, I am the one who has been keeping the tie strong and bound to my heart. I am the one who secretly hoped that he would show up one day and apologize for throwing me out like a piece of garbage - for lying to me after he left, hell for lying to me during our entire marriage. I dreamed he would have some type of regret for shattering my heart. But alas, he will never feel bad about what he did, because he does not have feelings, so how can he “feel” sorry.



A soul tie is described as “a spiritual connection between two people. In many cases, it is said to come into existence after two people have been physically intimate. In others, it is said to form after an intensely close spiritual or emotional relationship.

I believe my soul tie exists and has kept me bound to him, because he represented the wound I carried from my mother. He abused me just like she did, so that cord runs deep into my heart and soul. But the time has come for me to cut that tie and be done with him forever.



So how do I know it’s time? I have been given signs from Spirit that I am strong enough to let it go. I have been given support from a Spirit who lived the same life and love and died with the tie – the tie of one sided love that ultimately killed her. They will support me through this tie cutting.



How does one go about cutting a soul tie – Please read on:


• Awareness is the heart beat of therapy. Acknowledge the unhealthy past, avoid the person and ask God to give you the strength to move on. If any sins were committed to cause this soul tie, repent of them.

• Destroy or give away any gifts given to you by the other person. Items that symbolize the ungodly practices in past and present relationships such as rings, flowers, cards and bras can hold a soul tie in place if not let go.

• Renounce any vows or commitments made that played a part in forming the soul tie. Even things like “I will love you forever”, or “I could never love another man!” need to be renounced. They are spoken commitments that need to be undone verbally.

• Forgive that person if you have anything against them.


Finally I will take a picture of him, and burn it in my sacred space, my bedroom. I will take the ashes of the picture, mix them with salt, and then spread them in a place I will never return to again. Thankfully there is a lot of country side around me that I can take a hike in and discard of the ashes of the tie.



I am ready to live a life without the darkness of him around me. I am ready to be free from my past and the sadness that haunts me most days in the private places of my heart and soul. I know I will be supported on this path by Spirit and by my wonderful friends who circle me with love every day. I am ready to live in the light and in real whole and healthy love.

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