In the aftermath of the other night I decided I needed to shift my energy once and for all away from the Ex. I let myself have a good cry that night. I cried not for the loss of the relationship, but for ever being in love with someone who could even think this way. I felt like I needed to scrub off three layers of my skin just to rid myself of any part of him that still remained. I cried out every last bit of poison he left behind in my heart.
He texted me later that night asking if I really thought he was a monster like my mother, and that he was happy living in Florida. I didn’t respond to the monster part, because if you have to ask you already know the answer. I did tell him I was glad he was happy in Florida because I had paid a very high price for his happiness as is his Norma Jean.
I woke the next morning from the fog of the past 8 years, seven spent with him – one alone since he left, and was at peace finally that it was all over. The words from his mouth last night killed off any residual feelings I was carrying for him in my heart.
I decided to mark the occasion with something I had been thinking about for awhile. I went and got some very special words printed on my arm – yes, a tattoo. The words are simple. They ask “Am I Valuing Myself in this Moment?” What a powerful way for me to remember every minute of every day that I have value and that I must act and think in ways that show that I value myself. After all if I don’t value myself, no one else will.
What a wonderful filter to run everything through in my mind. “Am I Valuing Myself in this Moment?” If I keep that thought in my conscious mind, and run everything I do, say, eat, think, purchase – everything - through that filter, my life will start to reflect that I love and respect myself. Imagine how much that will change the energy around me. People that do not respect and value me will not be attractive to me, nor will I be attractive to them, as they will intuitively know that they will not be able to feed off my generosity and love, and then leave.
That alone is a powerful testament to how important loving yourself is. Am I valuing myself in this moment as I write this piece- YES